Top 5 ways to grab fear by the throat
There’s a lot happening over here.
I mean, whose life isn’t a constant ebb and flow of changes, challenges, triumphs and pitfalls? So, let’s just get that out of the way — I’m not special. But what sets me apart, and what sets YOU apart, is how we react to all of those things.
For me? When I get in a place of upheaval, I dig deep and find a way to persevere. It’s not always pretty, flawless, or ordered! Organized chaos happens often around toddlers and an entrepreneur life!
After having Miah, as I’ve written about before, I had to end some spectacularly important things in my life. I closed my event and photography studio as well as ended my career of nearly eight years. It was in a whirlwind blur of emotions and decisions. I had little to no sleep, even with help from my parents as my husband can often work late. Those endings were tough but once 2019 hit, I knew I had to build upon something new. I continued to freelance — writing and editing with some photography on the side. I started to take back my health and began working a wellness coaching business. I’ve now dropped more than 40 pounds since having Miah and starting to feel more like who I was before I became a wife and mother — but with some growth and obvious changes. I rented a small co-working space and taking charge of my life as a woman who is working for herself because I tell you what, the world of getting back into the work force is cruel.
So here are my top five ways to conquer fear, grab it by the throat, and make it bow down to you. Listen, I realize that fear can be helpful. But we shouldn’t live there. We should never live in fear. We have such limited time to do what fills us up and brings us, at the very least, contentment.
1. Drop worrying about how others might feel about what you are doing.
Is what you want to do going to hurt someone?
Then don’t worry about it.
Is what you want to do going to ruin someone’s life?
Then don’t worry about it.
People always have so many opinions about what you do, what you say, and how you live. You could live in accordance to all the people-pleasing you can muster but you are still going to piss off, irritate, or alienate someone who wants to feel that way because of THEM. Not you.
2. Do the pro/con list.
It’s as old as time and still something my dad tells me to do about anything I’m on the fence about or scared of but don’t let your con list grow from skipping what I said to do in step one!
3. Just start!
You have an idea that you’ve always wanted to try but have been afraid to even attempt to make happen. What are you waiting for? There is NEVER a perfect time for much of anything. You can plan. You can prepare. Those are all good things. But really if you have been planning and preparing but not MOVING then you could lose that one thing that may be a gamechanger for you. Make a small step toward whatever it is and take it on in small pieces. You’ll at least remove the stagnation of it just sitting in your brain or in your journal.
4. Get real with yourself.
What is bringing the fear? Self-doubts or other people’s opinions? If it’s the latter, go back to step one! I know for me, fearing what people will think has been a detrimental constant of my life. I’ve had to really push those thoughts aside and while it’s not always easy, it’s the best thing you can do for yourself. If you are having self-doubts, pick up some personal development books. Yes, that’s still a thing and it’s not to be taken lightly! A good one I’ve been introduced to by a mentor of mine is The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins. Currently reading and nodding along. You will too.
5. Cut yourself some slack.
Nothing is an exact science. You will stumble sometimes overcoming your fears but you break free on the other side so much better when you’ve conquered them. It’s a much sweeter place than standing still so go ahead and pat yourself on the back, forgive yourself if you don’t have all the answers (who does?!), and give yourself a break for tackling the hard stuff.